Dating Tips: Attracting a "10
If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a 10, then I think you'll find this letter very interesting.
But first off, let go waaay back...
When I was in high school, there was this girl in my class who was perfect.
She was intelligent, cool, and so beautiful that it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn't stop my eyes looking)...
She was friendly to everyone and was one of the popular kids in school.
We talked occasionally, and looking back I realize we were flirting (I was too stupid to realize at the time).
I wanted to ask her to senior prom so badly...but I chickened out at the last minute.
It was a few years later that I realized that the girl had a crushed on me all the senior year.
I've talked to a lot of guys and this experience seems pretty common, there was this ONE SPECIAL GIRL who you crushed on from afar, or you missed an opportunity with her, or she broke your heart...
Ah, the unreachable "10," a perfect woman that every men dream but seems hard to attain.
I have a lot to say about the concept of "10's," In deeper sense they are another "breed" of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.
Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your "perfect girl."
First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more "valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.
The woman that is perfect for you is the one who can turns you on and have a great chemistry with you. That is the only true "10".
Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10's, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.
Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.
Why?
Because almost all men do that.
The girl knows what you are about and she sees you as a shallow guy.
But there definitely are certain women that seem on another "level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.
You need to understand on how you will deal with these kinds of women.
Like I said, you shouldn't treat them "differently."
Let me clarify.
You shouldn't treat a woman BETTER than the other women. But there are things that you need to know.
First, she is sick of guys chasing her for her looks alone.
She wants to be appreciated for her personality more than anything else.
Now for your own sake I'm going to give you a heads up.
There are two types of "10's."
Low self-esteem and high self-esteem.
The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10's. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't EARN that attention.
In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.
It may sounds not good but I call it like it is.
These type of women will respond to jerk-behavior. Taking away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back.
Anything.
(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)
Meanwhile, the high self-esteem 10's are women that have had a taste of the elite - early from the start they realized that high levels of society were attainable to them, they exert an effort be intelligent, successful and make the most of their lives.
These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.
Usually HSE 10's are intellegent, have good attitudes, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.
Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).
And here's another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?
It is because they have high standards for themselves, and this makes most men either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it's rare that they meet another man who is on their level.
But here's the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.
The Attraction Code is about being the best man you can be, being a "male 10."
You will notice an interesting thing if you start to apply the Attraction Code.
You'll get odd responses from less attractive women - they will occasionally be rude to you because they know they're not on your level - it's what I call the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some women will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.
But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently...you'll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."
She thinks to herself, "finally, a guy who can hang with me; he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car."
The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you'll also enjoy plenty of "adventures" with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.
There are bunch of 10's out there waiting for you.
Don't spend another year missing something that you could've been enjoying right now.
Vin
Dating Tips: Fixing your Approach with Women
There are men that will not be successful with women. Yes, it's true. A lot of them just won't get it.
It's not about they're not smart enough, appealing or somehow defective... It's actually a subconscious choice, that they have made without knowing.
Are you one of that loser men? Or you want to make sure that you won't belong to that group...
I'm here to tell you how.
What you will hear from me is a thing that probably would be heard in other gurus . Because it's a very subtle but very powerful fix that most of them leave it out of their list.
First let me tell you about Matt. Well, he's a good guy and likes to socialize. He has taken a bootcamp with another pickup company. But sad to say he still doesn't get the success his looking for; in fact he's not successful at all.
Wondering if I have given him a help?? No. I didn't. An attempt maybe but nothing follows.
There are reasons why I didn't help him. One being he's too set in his ways and is stubborn.
BUT, that's not the real reason. If he was only stubborn I'd have an easy time changing his mind about things. The real reason why I can't help him is the same reason why he isn't successful with women.
As I said Matt's a good guy, but every time I talk with him he's giving a vibe like he wants something from me. In fact a lot of our mutual friends have said the same thing to me about him.
He always give this vibe of having an ulterior motive. He talks to you like a friend, which is good, but obviously you will feel a vibe saying he's trying to take knowledge, power and fun from me.
The same thing happens when he's talking to women. He treats them well and nicely but he always gives off this vibe that on the corner of his mind he is up into an underlying intention.
That why we don't like hanging out with him and neither do women.
We do all have intentions with and it isn't a bad thing. If you express your sensual intentions openly they'll accept it, especially if you have good game techniques. It may even turn them on. IN FACT it will skyrocket your conversion rate if you do it the right way.
But if you hide your intentions you come off as creepy and weird. Women won't trust you or feel safe being alone with you. You could be the best actor in a pretending world but not in the real world... THEY WILL KNOW.
Being creepy is considered a "Death" card in the Tarot deck of your love life. It will destroy any chance of success you might have.
So now you know what might be going wrong. How do you fix it?
To start with, you need to be fun and unattached to the outcome whenever as you can. It could be telling a great story to a group or being a great host to a bunch of your friends. It could also be a compliment (in the right way of course) or a tease that will spike emotions in way that is fun to a woman.
Come out there and start talking to women not only for the the purpose of pickup and sleeping with them, but because women are interesting, wonderful and fun to be with.
The next thing you need is to start being clear about your intentions. This doesn't mean that you tell the woman "The whole purpose of me talking to you is so that I can get into your undies." That will instantly kill your pickup as fast as being creepy.
Just do a little changes in your behavior that will affect how your intentions be brought out and if you're consistent with what you're saying. You will see your GAME going well.
And there are so many small fixes that I could write a novel on them.
But I don't think you would want to read a novel about fixing your creepy vibe and then taking the months to implement it that it will require... Right? Don't worry I won't. I wouldn't want to spend the months writing that novel either.
A Relationship or A One-Night Stand
I have been quite an expert on fast pick-ups . But there's one problem that I want to share with you.
You see, even though guys that can pull these off enjoy not only success with women straight out of a fantasy world and typically get women obsessed with them, with a fast pick-up comes a big problem...
SOMETIMES FAST PICK-UPS DON'T BECOME A RELATIONSHIP.
Sometimes a fast pick-up becomes a one night stand instead of converting it into a relationship.
Well, its fine for those that has that intention.
But a lot of times, you DO want to see the woman again - or possibly start a relationship with her.
Here's something I want you to know - In the past 2 years EVERY girl I have slept with has been under 4 hours.
And EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. wanted to see me again...
So why am I saying this?
I'm saying this NOT to brag. But I'm saying this so that you can realize the great amount of value I can offer you as a client of mine, and to prove a very important thing:
“HOW FAST YOU SLEEP WITH A WOMAN IS “NOT THE BASIS” TO START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.”
In fact there are three major points on how to have a continuing intimate relationship with a girl...
And this time I will reveal a few myths about this.
3 MYTHS ABOUT FAST PICK UPS
MYTH #1: "Build a 7+ hours comfort" with the girl before sleeping with her.
As I said, the amount of time you spend with a girl has nothing to do in sleeping with her.
In fact it has almost NOTHING to do with anything you do before you sleep with her. The secret lies in what you do AFTER you sleep with her.
I have got it down to an exact science. A series of actions and behaviors that practically guarantee she will not only see you again, but also be borderline obsessed with you...
Just have a natural behaviors that a person can learn from you in less than five minutes. Nothing fancy, no routines or lines...
Here's the REALITY of this situation.
The reality is some of the hottest and most intelligent women I have dated LOVED the excitement of getting physical really fast.
It's straight out of the movies, and very few guys can pull it off skillfully.
MYTH #2: You need to reassure the woman that you will see her again before sleeping with her.
A lot of guys try this... they imply that the women is "relationship material" or that he definitely wants to see her again.
Man... what a way to kill an intrigue right off the bat...
Guys do this and tend to come on wayyyy to strong. They appear too interested, too needy, to desperate to get a girlfriend.
But at the same time you should NEVER imply that it's a one night stand, or that you're just interested in bed.
This isn't very effective either...
MYTH #3: You have to be great in bed the first time you sleep with her.
Julian, who is a good friend of mine, admitted that he is bad in bed and only lasts for about 3 minutes but converts girls like *CRAZY*.
Point here, he is NOT good in bed (his choice), and STILL gets women so crazy about him, they won't leave him alone.... (it just end up the women sitting there naked, watching him playing Gears of War on his Xbox360)
May be at this point you are thinking...
"THIS IS TOO ADVANCED, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS PICKING UP AND SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN!"
I know that.
But listen. This is an important information that you're going to need soon.
And let's be honest - when you DO start sleeping with women - wouldn't you rather have the CHOICE to see them again or not?
That's what my point is.
The Attraction Code
http://www.vindicarlo.com The Attraction code video. Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.
Useful Mindsets in Dealing with Male Competition
Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just
because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a
group of girls with one or two guys with them because you
ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other
guys for a couple reasons.
They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a
simple misconception that's why they avoid talking to woman
who is "with" a guy.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn't
know if he will be embarrassed verbally.
So it's smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead
or exiled from the tribe.
And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to
speak.
Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are
the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.
The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the
basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false
assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily
avoid women.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to
another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.
Usually, they JUST MET!
I can't tell you how many times I've approached a woman
thinking she was "with" a guy, only to find out he was some
random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend
or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many
opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with
another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions.
The other important thing I want to talk about is the idea
that another man can be more "dominant" than you.
The alpha male during caveman days had a real power - he
knows where to get resources like food, and was physically
stronger, that he could beat up competitors. The concept of
the alpha male is completely obsolete.
But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man
can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you
probably have an access to food and shelter if you're
reading this. You're all set.
Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat
people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern
world.
It is always to your loss if you attack another person
because the police always win.
If you mind doing that, you are LETTING RANDOM MEN TO STOP
YOU FOR NO REASON!
Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???
I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid
about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and
knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
You are going to look back on all the things you did and
didn't do, when the time comes that you're on your deathbed.
How painful it is to say "I haven't approached that girl
because I was scared of another guy," or "I could have
enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have
approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy."
I don't want to happen that to you.
So let's look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don't truly understand dominance.
You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.
You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become
dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more
dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it
is that they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.
Normally, seldom for women to go out with a guy they are
dating, more often they would like to bring with them a guy
that is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that
is more valuable when they go out on the town.
And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it
will be a fair game because it means that he's NOT with the
other girls.
If you are concerned with who's the alpha male, then you are
NOT the alpha male by definition. As a matter of fact, it's
questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern
era.
Don't assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and
don't let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!
How to Make Meeting Women Fun and Easy
Does it ever feel like WORK meeting women?
And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you're doing you're still not getting an inch closer to your goal?
If you answered YES to either of those questions, then READ ON.
Honestly, going for a date can be quite frustrating.
You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.
You think everything will be going great with a woman and then she stops answering your calls.
Though of course we know that it is the man that exerts a lot of moves in order to make things right and moving.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
At first, you have to keep the conversation moving, you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number and you have to have a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to set a date.
Men are much higher than women when it comes to the standards of behavior.
(Don't get me started on that...let's just think that girls are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "pretty."
Being not "extroverted" by nature can be pretty exhausting.
... I have often heard a complain about "extroversion fatigue" from a client of mine.
I used to struggle with that too that's why I knew exactly what he meant.
Before I began to teach myself pickup , I would go out, and be mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
I would have to sit down and rest!
Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I was at my full time job.
I would go home absolutely dead
... from TALKING TO WOMEN!
Does that make any sense???
There you see the general dating fatigue. There's an ups and downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me or be in bed with me.
It is just like I am having an overtime in my full-time job!
The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)
But what can I say, I was passionate about learning all this stuff (and not to mention extremely eager for results after years of sexual frustration).
I would push myself like professional athletes push themselves in the gym.
I was working muscles I had never used before, or to be more precise, I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS.
If you do understand any of this stuff, then probably you are working too hard in your interaction with women.
There are three reasons for this.
First, being socially proactive may be new to you.
I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don't have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Although I have but it was so small and weak and it took me three weeks to notice them. I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms every time I worked them out.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.
Developing your new neuro-pathways will take time. So with the level of your skills, you need to push yourself harder from day-to-day.
The second reason that can cause a feeling of social fatigue is that when you think that there is too much to do or learn when meeting women.
Actually this is more on having an overwhelmed feeling and has somewhat a little different from "fatigue."
Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and depression. It's somewhat saying "ugh, I've had enough of this too much. I'm giving up"
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.
It was daunting to think that I had to DO all this stuff just to have quality women in my life.
Lastly, you will feel socially exhausted for your dating and mating game , when you spend a lot of effort and focus on stuff in wrong situation and find out it was not helpful to your pick-up.
I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff" after a few harsh rejections.
But this doesn't deny the truth that when the average guy is attracted to a woman, he exerts his effort and mental energy on trying to impress the woman, or figure out if she likes him.
As what we have seen and heard in the media, from our parents and friends - generally it lets us know that man's role is to IMPRESS the woman and in return a woman will sleep with you.
That's Silly!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a fool while she giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.
So much for that... what I'm trying to imply here is that when it comes to the matter of controlling a date, guys are being screwed.
The matter of attraction for a guy will be change if he will only takes the time to adjust the way his mind works.
Once you get to highest level of your interaction with women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need to be at your best both physically and emotionally.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
The Same Night Lay of the Pick-Up Artist
Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand
It wasn't until I had a couple solid pickups that I started
to really understand how easy all this really could be.
Looking back, I realize now that those initial successes
were the start of a major "bad belief overhaul."
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in
bed.
I also started to think of myself as an attractive,
desirable guy (even though I'm far from what's typically
considered good-looking).
Wanting to sleep with more women is the main goal of the 75%
of my students.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special
but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet
a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best
choice.
And if you don't know how to meet women, this can be a
daunting task.
One of the common phase that every good pickup artist goes
through when they gets started. Where he to learn to thinks
of new ways and behavior and then start to meet and sleep
with LOT OF WOMEN.
Just like a kid in a candy store, making a full advantage of
his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for
me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and
internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman
want to sleep with me.
So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual
sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on
forming new beliefs.
I'm talking about one-night stands, same day lays, whatever
you want to call it.
Now if you've never had a one night stand, or maybe got
lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a
one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as
having a great girlfriend.
Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all
easy.
The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on
themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences
that help them to really feel like a "natural ."
If you're going though with this newsletter, then you really
want to MASTER THE GAME aside from getting BETTER with
woman.
Mastery of the game comes from within and it start right
through your mindset and leads to a visible results that
form New Beliefs in your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.
There's one thing you need to know when going for a
one-night stand - You cannot always bring home the hottest
girl in the place.
You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee
that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is
open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in
particular night.
But there are lots of horny women that are open to get
physically fast and wants to get laid that same day or
night. All you have to do is know how to spot them in any
situation whether it is a day or night or in the club, bar
and park.
Some of the few things that you should look for are on the
way how they dressed up and on the way how they put some
make-up. Many women exerts a lot of hard work just to look
beautiful. And you know there is a reason for it.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't
always true but is generally the case.
Another thing that you can spot that a woman is looking for
attention is when she is being so loud and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she's with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
They are basically putting themselves out there, waiting for
someone to approach them.
Now when you approach, take it easy - don't go in full-steam
running your clever routines and your cocky frame control
stuff.
A simple "hey, you guys look great tonight. Special
occasion?" is enough. It's just have to be social, delicate
and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
You should not openly discuss to the woman that you are
looking to take her home and get her into bed. Because, if
you talk about that, you're putting a woman to a point where
is to agree to implicitly bang with you.
Rather you want to build sensual tension , as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.
The woman will force herself to keep distance from you
because that is against her "rules". And you need a logistic
information in order to figure out how to bring her back to
your place
The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual
intention, and not trying to pick her up.
You have to be willing to let go of controlling the
situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating
appropriately.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how
it works.
You must trust that women wants to be in bed and there are a
lot of women in the club, bar or in any venue that wants to
get a same day lay.
Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know
how to spot and get them.
You don't want to invest a bunch of time with the wrong
girl, or worse, to pick the RIGHT girl, and then mess it up
after a lengthy interaction.
It's not worth wasting your time for that.