Archives
The Same Night Lay of the Pick-Up Artist
Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand
It wasn't until I had a couple solid pickups that I started
to really understand how easy all this really could be.
Looking back, I realize now that those initial successes
were the start of a major "bad belief overhaul."
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in
bed.
I also started to think of myself as an attractive,
desirable guy (even though I'm far from what's typically
considered good-looking).
Wanting to sleep with more women is the main goal of the 75%
of my students.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special
but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
Because if you are looking for a special girl, you have meet
a lot of women so that you determine and pick the best
choice.
And if you don't know how to meet women, this can be a
daunting task.
One of the common phase that every good pickup artist goes
through when they gets started. Where he to learn to thinks
of new ways and behavior and then start to meet and sleep
with LOT OF WOMEN.
Just like a kid in a candy store, making a full advantage of
his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for
me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and
internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman
want to sleep with me.
So it's important that you have a few really fast, casual
sensual encounters, in order to get the ball rolling on
forming new beliefs.
I'm talking about one-night stands, same day lays, whatever
you want to call it.
Now if you've never had a one night stand, or maybe got
lucky a couple of times when you were drunk, having a
one-night 'stands at-will' can seem just as out-of-reach as
having a great girlfriend.
Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all
easy.
The crappy thing is, a lot of guys make it WAY too hard on
themselves, and never get those initial sexual experiences
that help them to really feel like a "natural ."
If you're going though with this newsletter, then you really
want to MASTER THE GAME aside from getting BETTER with
woman.
Mastery of the game comes from within and it start right
through your mindset and leads to a visible results that
form New Beliefs in your mind.
Your new beliefs will become the foundation in building and
facing the new reality in your life, you will then naturally
attract many women without even thinking and doing fancy
lines and routines.
There's one thing you need to know when going for a
one-night stand - You cannot always bring home the hottest
girl in the place.
You can get a solid number from her, but its not a guarantee
that you can take her home because whether or not a woman is
open to going home with a guy, it varies widely in
particular night.
But there are lots of horny women that are open to get
physically fast and wants to get laid that same day or
night. All you have to do is know how to spot them in any
situation whether it is a day or night or in the club, bar
and park.
Some of the few things that you should look for are on the
way how they dressed up and on the way how they put some
make-up. Many women exerts a lot of hard work just to look
beautiful. And you know there is a reason for it.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't
always true but is generally the case.
Another thing that you can spot that a woman is looking for
attention is when she is being so loud and animated.
Lastly, another good prospect are woman that are looking
around the room more than the other girls that she's with.
Also a group of two or three women all standing around with
blank expressions, scoping the room are another prospect.
They are basically putting themselves out there, waiting for
someone to approach them.
Now when you approach, take it easy - don't go in full-steam
running your clever routines and your cocky frame control
stuff.
A simple "hey, you guys look great tonight. Special
occasion?" is enough. It's just have to be social, delicate
and showing that you are interested in meeting them.
You should not openly discuss to the woman that you are
looking to take her home and get her into bed. Because, if
you talk about that, you're putting a woman to a point where
is to agree to implicitly bang with you.
Rather you want to build sensual tension , as we discuss
heavily in our workshops.
The woman will force herself to keep distance from you
because that is against her "rules". And you need a logistic
information in order to figure out how to bring her back to
your place
The real key to all this is subtracting any overt sensual
intention, and not trying to pick her up.
You have to be willing to let go of controlling the
situation, and just enjoy yourself, while escalating
appropriately.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how
it works.
You must trust that women wants to be in bed and there are a
lot of women in the club, bar or in any venue that wants to
get a same day lay.
Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know
how to spot and get them.
You don't want to invest a bunch of time with the wrong
girl, or worse, to pick the RIGHT girl, and then mess it up
after a lengthy interaction.
It's not worth wasting your time for that.
How to Make Meeting Women Fun and Easy
Does it ever feel like WORK meeting women?
And how does it feel that despite of all the effort you're doing you're still not getting an inch closer to your goal?
If you answered YES to either of those questions, then READ ON.
Honestly, going for a date can be quite frustrating.
You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.
You think everything will be going great with a woman and then she stops answering your calls.
Though of course we know that it is the man that exerts a lot of moves in order to make things right and moving.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
At first, you have to keep the conversation moving, you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number and you have to have a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to set a date.
Men are much higher than women when it comes to the standards of behavior.
(Don't get me started on that...let's just think that girls are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "pretty."
Being not "extroverted" by nature can be pretty exhausting.
... I have often heard a complain about "extroversion fatigue" from a client of mine.
I used to struggle with that too that's why I knew exactly what he meant.
Before I began to teach myself pickup , I would go out, and be mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
I would have to sit down and rest!
Come to think how strange the situation is, I am supposed to have fun and relax but instead I am working harder than I was at my full time job.
I would go home absolutely dead
... from TALKING TO WOMEN!
Does that make any sense???
There you see the general dating fatigue. There's an ups and downs in the emotions, results that is discouraging, in the hard work that I make just to get women to hang out with me or be in bed with me.
It is just like I am having an overtime in my full-time job!
The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)
But what can I say, I was passionate about learning all this stuff (and not to mention extremely eager for results after years of sexual frustration).
I would push myself like professional athletes push themselves in the gym.
I was working muscles I had never used before, or to be more precise, I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS.
If you do understand any of this stuff, then probably you are working too hard in your interaction with women.
There are three reasons for this.
First, being socially proactive may be new to you.
I remember the first time I started weight lifting, I don't have an upper pectoral muscles - the muscle right at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Although I have but it was so small and weak and it took me three weeks to notice them. I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms every time I worked them out.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.
Developing your new neuro-pathways will take time. So with the level of your skills, you need to push yourself harder from day-to-day.
The second reason that can cause a feeling of social fatigue is that when you think that there is too much to do or learn when meeting women.
Actually this is more on having an overwhelmed feeling and has somewhat a little different from "fatigue."
Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and depression. It's somewhat saying "ugh, I've had enough of this too much. I'm giving up"
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING. I suffered from this kind of feeling when I started putting a lot of my theories on paper. I looked at my notes and felt like I was looking at one of those huge, complex physics equations.
It was daunting to think that I had to DO all this stuff just to have quality women in my life.
Lastly, you will feel socially exhausted for your dating and mating game , when you spend a lot of effort and focus on stuff in wrong situation and find out it was not helpful to your pick-up.
I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can't tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff" after a few harsh rejections.
But this doesn't deny the truth that when the average guy is attracted to a woman, he exerts his effort and mental energy on trying to impress the woman, or figure out if she likes him.
As what we have seen and heard in the media, from our parents and friends - generally it lets us know that man's role is to IMPRESS the woman and in return a woman will sleep with you.
That's Silly!
I get so mad when I see some commercial with a guy bumbling around trying to impress some cute girl, and looking like a fool while she giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.
So much for that... what I'm trying to imply here is that when it comes to the matter of controlling a date, guys are being screwed.
The matter of attraction for a guy will be change if he will only takes the time to adjust the way his mind works.
Once you get to highest level of your interaction with women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need to be at your best both physically and emotionally.
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
Useful Mindsets in Dealing with Male Competition
Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just
because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a
group of girls with one or two guys with them because you
ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other
guys for a couple reasons.
They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.
You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.
The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a
simple misconception that's why they avoid talking to woman
who is "with" a guy.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.
This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.
In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.
As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn't
know if he will be embarrassed verbally.
So it's smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead
or exiled from the tribe.
And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to
speak.
Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are
the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.
The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the
basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false
assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily
avoid women.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to
another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.
Usually, they JUST MET!
I can't tell you how many times I've approached a woman
thinking she was "with" a guy, only to find out he was some
random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend
or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many
opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with
another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.
So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions.
The other important thing I want to talk about is the idea
that another man can be more "dominant" than you.
The alpha male during caveman days had a real power - he
knows where to get resources like food, and was physically
stronger, that he could beat up competitors. The concept of
the alpha male is completely obsolete.
But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man
can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you
probably have an access to food and shelter if you're
reading this. You're all set.
Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat
people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern
world.
It is always to your loss if you attack another person
because the police always win.
If you mind doing that, you are LETTING RANDOM MEN TO STOP
YOU FOR NO REASON!
Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???
I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid
about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and
knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
You are going to look back on all the things you did and
didn't do, when the time comes that you're on your deathbed.
How painful it is to say "I haven't approached that girl
because I was scared of another guy," or "I could have
enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have
approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy."
I don't want to happen that to you.
So let's look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don't truly understand dominance.
You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.
You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become
dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more
dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it
is that they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.
Normally, seldom for women to go out with a guy they are
dating, more often they would like to bring with them a guy
that is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that
is more valuable when they go out on the town.
And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it
will be a fair game because it means that he's NOT with the
other girls.
If you are concerned with who's the alpha male, then you are
NOT the alpha male by definition. As a matter of fact, it's
questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern
era.
Don't assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and
don't let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!
The Attraction Code
http://www.vindicarlo.com The Attraction code video. Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.