Useful Mindsets in Dealing with Male Competition

Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just
because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a
group of girls with one or two guys with them because you
ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other
guys for a couple reasons.

They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's
her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn't think this as a barrier of talking to a
woman. Plus - she's not a guy's "slave" or a piece of
property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses,
especially in a social situation like in the bar where
people meet other people.

You will extremely look confident if you approach more often
a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's
jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.

The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a
simple misconception that's why they avoid talking to woman
who is "with" a guy.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that
the "other guy" is more cooler, stronger, or somehow
powerful than they are.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has
been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the
more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by
another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn't
know if he will be embarrassed verbally.

So it's smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy
is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few
confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead
or exiled from the tribe.

And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to
speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are
the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the
basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false
assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily
avoid women.

The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to
another guy in the bar or club, she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can't tell you how many times I've approached a woman
thinking she was "with" a guy, only to find out he was some
random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend
or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many
opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with
another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL
EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just
remember that in time that they are together you should be
alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous
type and may start a confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false
assumptions.

 The other important thing I want to talk about is the idea
that another man can be more "dominant" than you.

The alpha male during caveman days had a real power - he
knows where to get resources like food, and was physically
stronger, that he could beat up competitors. The concept of
the alpha male is completely obsolete.

But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man
can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you
probably have an access to food and shelter if you're
reading this. You're all set.

Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat
people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern
world.

It is always to your loss if you attack another person
because the police always win.

If you mind doing that, you are LETTING RANDOM MEN TO STOP
YOU FOR NO REASON!

Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???

I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid
about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and
knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

You are going to look back on all the things you did and
didn't do, when the time comes that you're on your deathbed.
How painful it is to say "I haven't approached that girl
because I was scared of another guy," or "I could have
enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have
approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy."

I don't want to happen that to you.

So let's look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy
as more dominant means you don't truly understand dominance.

You see, if you're concerned with who is more dominant you
instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There's a better
focus.

You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become
dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more
dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it
is that they are doing or want.

So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead
of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than
you, focus on the girls.

I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to
be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know
the guy - they just meet him.

Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely
the rest know him.

Normally, seldom for women to go out with a guy they are
dating, more often they would like to bring with them a guy
that is more of a  protector/friend because a guy like that
is more valuable when they go out on the town.

And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it
will be a fair game because it means that he's NOT with the
other girls.

If you are concerned with who's the alpha male, then you are
NOT the alpha male by definition. As a matter of fact, it's
questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern
era.

Don't assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and
don't let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR
LIFE!

 

25.6.08 04:51