What The Pickup Artist on VH1 Wont Tell You About Fashion 2
(continued from part 1)
There was about a couple of times that I did the
peacocking. I did that to see if it worked because I heard
that other guys were doing it.
When I went out I felt ridiculous and was totally
incongruent with my personality.
As we all know women love's fashion and they like a
well-dressed man.
I noticed that it was in my workout clothes or something
really basic - like jeans and a tanktop that some of my best
pickups occurred.
At the same time, I'd see muscled-up guys wearing revealing
spandex, or super-tight shirts at the club, and women
definitely did not respond well to this.
This make me think... that maybe this is not on how much
the clothes cost or how flashy they are...
Maybe there's something else aside from that.
There are two things going on. This two things must be
manage or balance.
First and foremost, never seek approval from women. If a
woman can tell that you are trying to impress her or make
her like you, you are toast.
So if you look like you got dressed with the intention of
getting women's attention, they'll see you coming a mile a
way and put up their defenses.
You DON'T have to look like a pick up artist.
To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it
avails much.
However, you need to present yourself in the best way you
can and not to look sloppy.
This comes back to self-expression.
You now have sense what kind of guy you are, what your
"scene" is, what you think is cool.
Do not change that.
Instead, improve it, with these simple tweaks.
This isn't a rocket science. Wear colors that appeal to
your skin tone and hair color. Go to an upscale men's
clothing store, and ask someone about this. Or look online.
Next, make sure your clothes are clean, and wrinkle free,
and reasonably up-to-date. A woman should not have to worry
about bringing you around her friends.
Most of all, be sure that your clothes fits well, they
BRING OUT YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.
Wear shirts that narrow your waist, and square your
shoulders.
Have your legs look long and thin by wearing pants.
Put on a shoes that make your feet look big and
well-formed.
Groom yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a nice
haircut. Shave, or don't, but figure out what looks great
and take it all the way.
Another thing...
Accessories should hang off you loosely, and have the look
of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can fuck."
Use your intuition with this one. I don't want to say too
much because that's a whole other topic.
What The Pickup Artist on VH1 Wont Tell You About Fashion 1
I am NOT the most fashionable guy in the world.
I usually let my girlfriend pick out clothes for me - not
for MY benefit..
... so that if we go out in public together she will not
feel embarrassed!
If it were up to me, I'd wear sweats and a t-shirt all day,
with some old worn out sneakers. I mean, I think fashion is
pretty silly.
I can absolutely appreciate the aspect of design and style
of fashion. When I looked at the able-bodied dressed woman,
her outfits is like of art, and I dig that.
I kinda lose respect when a guy is "too stylish."
Don't misinterpret me, a man should present himself like he
means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality,
well-fitting clothes are a basic of being a masculine.
But some guys take this so much.
Case in point, the obsession with "peacocking" in the
pickup Community for the past several years.
It makes me cringe when I hear this term.
YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.
If you don't know what "peacocking" is, let me explain it
to you.
There was an emergence of routine-based "game" a while ago
that rely heavily on superficial techniques, status games,
and over-analysis of social interactions.
This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw
the value of it.
The main reason for this is that I saw how pretending to be
someone other than yourself, and saying jokes and routines
that other guys came up with JUST FELT WRONG.
On top of that, the FIRST FOCUS of all that strategy and
game-playing was to eventually get approval from women,
while making them feel insecure so they'd think you were
cooler than them.
Think of this bullshit layers in the approach to dating.
Not only are you faking your personality because you
a) look for approval (as if girls were an authority on what
makes man a man)
b) hide the truth that you're looking for approval
c) play games that will make women feel insecure so that
they will try to seek your approval
YUCK
One of the main techniques of this approach was to
"peacock," to dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so
that women would "notice" you and want to talk to you.
Now there's nothing wrong with wearing a nice watch, or a
necklace that has some personal meaning.
But don't do it to make women like you.
I'm sure a lot of you guys have seen the advocates of this
approach on TV shows, straining to make sense out of this
hare-brained "technique."
I felt sad to the students of other pickup schools that
I've encountered because these poor guys were not only
nervous, clumsy, misdirected...they looked RETARDED.
So I want to make a direct proof when it comes to fashion
and approaching women.
There are few pieces of things you need to pay attention to
when it comes to your physical looks.
After you have handled this stuff, you should place it out
of your mind, and that you shouldn't wait for women to
notice you before TAKING AN ACTION.
Before moving on, I have something to expose.
(Continued in Part 2)
Building a Sexual Tension Before Sleeping with a Girl
Sexual tension is the energy or charge of the interaction with a woman. Its application is subtle, but powerful.
There are many different concepts about sexual tension that is floating around in the seduction community.
Some examples are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind.
There are some techniques that are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups. I prefer a very simple definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman.
As a definition, sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest.
In a proper timing, I create sexual tension by focusing my sexual desire on my woman, but not making any visible advances. I maintain an intriguing, calm and a sense of ambiguity, which keeps my woman focused on me, and directs her mind toward sexual thoughts. My state is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.
There are two reasons why a sensually aroused state is so important:
First, women love sex. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.
Second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood?
Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself.
- or -
How do you feel around someone when they are nervous?
You will definitely feel nervous too! Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually arousing, but you weren’t doing anything sexual yet. You will probably get aroused because she was horny. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other.
Can you see where this is going?
State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage.
How to have a controlled arousal state
It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. (State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having “peace of mind.&rdquo
The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (sober), get experience talking to women.
Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet, and regular exercise all help.
Creating Tension
While for the “getting turned on”, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.) zinc supplementation, eating lots of animal protein, and if possible, have a regular intimacy.
You already know how to get aroused. During your interactions with women, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine having sex with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain.
The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information.
These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sensual tension, we enter a sensual state, but don’t verbalize our desire.
If we did, she may like it or not like it, but at now she knows where she stands - she is validated.
That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and knows you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.”
Another key point about verbalizing sensual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading to sex. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in a woman's mind for getting isolated with you.
As an illustration, imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting?
True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere.
But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention.
Once you have mastered that concept, you're well on your way.
Credibility – Its Power to Attract a Woman
How do you attract a woman through your conversation?
How do you let her know that you are for real?
Or does she know that after she sleeps with you all of what you said will be backed up?
All three of these questions have the same answer.
Credibility.
Able to create credibility is one of the main components to sleeping with a girl quickly.
There are men that think they don't have enough value, most of their problem is the credibility they lack. Now a days most of the techniques they used to create value ends up only to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe. (and anyone who's anyone KNOWS I don't even teach value. Not for a damn second!)
"Player vibe" is a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
The other component is sexual tension.
And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension before sleeping with a guy and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
So let's get down to it:
There are three levels of credibility.
1. Safety ----The most basic level of credibility, you are to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you
2. Commonality ---- You are to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you.
3. Direction ---- You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you.
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING ->
Every person we meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you yourself have your own social programming. We all do.
Having that differences is not that bad. On the contrary, it's very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a woman's behaviors come from her social programming, we can't expect her to realize that.
We all know that men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many women as possible, while women have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around to raise children.
And this instinct is reinforced by social programming.
Her programming is her reality and literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE ->
Think about that you were in your bedroom. Comfortably warm sitting in a chair.
And then a guy came in. Telling you he was cold. And wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the couch you were sitting in. And asked if he could urinate in the corner.
You would feel pretty uncomfortable with him and might even think he's crazy.
He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. Because he has shown you that he doesn't understand your world, and doesn't respect your world. He's "in his own world".
You probably wouldn't connect with him, or feel like giving him compliance.
This is how women feel when you don't demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it's a bad thing for a guy (or even some women do) to kiss and tell, then you should show her you ALSO believe it's bad for people to kiss and tell.
The fact that you have the same perceptions about the world as her will build your credibility immensely.
You can think of the three levels in this way:
Safety - It's safe to have you in her world.
Commonality - You see the same things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction - You have the ability to rearrange and alter her world.
These are best demonstrated in order.
Guys are usually good at meeting a certain kind of woman.
It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you get good, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview.
The best way of doing this is by anticipating her thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
What you will do is try to remember things she's telling you, and then repeat it after she has forgotten it.
Then you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it gets to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world.
When someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think he's perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks "He's just like me!"
This is really the easiest thing in the world. Yet so many people mess it up.
But you can get really good once you know this thing.
It's a major piece and you'll see your game improve dramatically.
Dating Tips for Creating Relationships
When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn't keep around.
And it's quite sad.
There are lots of women that has the potential to become a great girlfriend.
But I had my head higher than my ass.
...maybe that's a little rude.
But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I've accepted what I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you believe girls have cooler interests?
Is getting drunk, Myspace and shopping is cooler than what I'm into?
It's all have connection.
Self-acceptance is what really matters.
A girl won't accept you if you don't accept yourself first.
Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don't like yourself?
She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.
Because you can't really like a woman, if you don't like yourself. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?
Although it sounds easy but self-acceptance is rare. How often do you hear people say, "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
In my experience, almost NO ONE accepts themselves completely.
And I'm no exception.
The amount on how you accept yourself is the amount also on how women find you attractive, and people want to be around you.
It can be really hard to accept yourself more. Old beliefs creep in and tell you that you are not enough, that you must be more than you are.
But the degree to which you eliminate these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because being yourself and not doubting yourself is the game. And game doesn't stop after your opener, after making love, after a few dates. It never stops.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.
You might be thinking "But I'm insecure, nervous and awkward." I disagree. That's not you.
That is the distorted you.
That is you trying to come out, but your ego, your old mental habits stop you from expressing what you really want to express.
Before I proceed deeper, I want first to go to the second reason why I couldn't keep girls around after sleeping with them.
I wasn't aware of shaping.
Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape.
In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.
As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it's not really her fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you talked and treat a woman like she's lucky you approached her, she'll feel that way.
Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I've developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
Women are different from each other. Like for instance, I may want a girl to be just a partner in bed. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.
I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.
Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.
But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.
Pickup Artist Phone Game: NoFlakes System
http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd
"If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com"
How to Manage Your Time when Meeting Women
Dating can be your best pal.
...OR your worst adversary.
Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave
to his natural need to procreate.
Then there goes a common quote, "He thinks
with his... You know."
Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are
physically unsatisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We are doers, and need to achieve things and
affect the world in a positive way.
One of the biggest challenges I've personally
faced is balancing the two - my urges and
achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can take a lot of
time. If you don't know what you're doing,
women will suck away at your time.
Before you know it, you are spending hours in
the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...
there's nothing wrong with spending a quality
time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU
DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, and so do women.
In fact, it's their NATURE to take up a man's
time - it's her way of getting you to invest
in her. That way there's less chance of you
leaving if she gets pregnant (this comes from
our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with
women. You see, giving their time to women is
what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are
"givers." They like to please women, protect
them, and give them good feelings.
Men also have a urges that can completely take
over your thoughts.
Both of these things can get of you making the
most of your life, your time.
Now take a minute to ask yourself about this,
"WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"
Now I know it wasn't about "money," or
"control over my life," or "lots of my free
time."
It was probably something like "feeling of
safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,
excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel
good about herself, etc."
There are two ways that I think why men have
problems with how they use their time with
women.
First, they overcompensate with other stuff -
like spending too much time or money on a
woman because they think that the gifts they
REALLY wanted to give aren't that valuable.
Second, men think that they are "getting"
something valuable when a woman spends her
time with them.
Guys was brainwash by the society to believe
that women are a prize to attain, and that
there's some inherent value in a pretty face.
It's a LIE!
The best thing is to see women for what they
are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that
important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now it can be really hard to break out of this
mental prison of feeling inferior to women.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to
notice because you've been doing them for
years.
Young men are taught that their urges is
crude and silly, and that it is just a favor
that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad"
syndrome. There's another societal factor going
on, . In almost every TV commercial and
sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband"
is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the
mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her
superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This will bring to the idea that the time of
the women is more valuable than men because of
the perception that women are "better."
You will feel obligated to give a woman a LOT
OF TIME if your time is not so valuable.
But here's the thing - if you are giving a
woman too much time, you won't be present for
most of that time. You will be distracted,
resentful, you will give her your "half-assed"
attention.
I just realize this after analyzing lots of
dates I went on women.
After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION
to women even though I'm only giving a smaller
amounts of my time.
Not only did this make our time better, it
created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left
women craving more.
Now my women can't get enough of me - in fact,
I don't GIVE THEM "enough."
You see, "enough" would mean, "overexposure"
to me, and women can't be pulled to what they
already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being
HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play
games with women and pretend to be busy or
whatever.
No need of games, just be real with the girl -
and don't spend more time that you want.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women
but still with focus on your personal goals.
Be the man on the go.
Now in a short amount of time it requires that
you are able to meet a lot of women, which
I'll have to cover in another newsletter.
It makes me sad to see men waste their lives
chasing and "putting up with" women, and then
they are buried in their coffin ALONE.
Women aren't property that you can keep or
somehow take with you when you die. Think
about that.
You can't "keep" a woman by investing all your
time with her.
One more thing here - if you start being
honest with the amount of time you are willing
give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It either she will make you feel guilty or you
will feel it on your own. That's ok, it just
means that you have a weak focus.
If you are following your true ways, it will
usually from the social norm.
If you are in the mental habit of adopting the
values others try to impose onto you, you will
most likely experience some discomfort,
tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.
That's why I set and develop the Attraction
Code . It's all about self-control, finding
true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge
from within.
And no, we don't try to impose our values or
goals onto you. We think you'll be able to do
that for yourself, given the proper guidance.
Vin